Why is it considered better to know
How that feels? Why is it better
When experience provides the path
To old pain and lingering sorrow?
I just wish all the half smiles
Didn’t twist with the taste
Of your tears…
Why must regret most often be
The beacon that guides you
From fading memory to mind

When I saw how happy you seemed
Married and seemingly at peace
It didn’t hurt…your voice struck me as
Birdsong on a warm summer morning
Right there beside you as your face
Caught the sunlight turning to me, so
Heartrendingly, beautifully, smiling
To me, approaching that puppy
For the first time and fading…

…I so want you to be happy, I
Was so afraid to ask if you
Had children…

How can seven years of
Finding peace and forgetting
Be obliterated by fifteen minutes
Of your laughter, the way you move
When you speak and smile, by every little
Affectation that fell away through the years.
By everything I never really wanted back
Without you with me.

Another ending dedicated to;
Inconsolable days reaping  
The remnants of dying dreams,
To constructing effigies
With the spectral recollection
Of burnt out circumstance.

To sunshine falling
Through glittering rain
And smiling goodbye.



…And somehow believing
I’m not the only one
Still holding on.